For 53 years, Steven Darter shared life’s greatest moments, everyday joys and unexpected challenges with his wife, Diane. She was his best friend, his partner and the love of his life.
Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.
On Jan. 11, Diane died suddenly following complications from surgery, leaving the 77-year-old Medford resident facing a future he never imagined — one without the woman who had been by his side for more than five decades.
But amid the heartbreak, Darter found a way to honor their love story while offering hope to others experiencing the devastating loss of a loved one.
On March 4, what would have been Diane’s 77th birthday, Darter began writing what would become his fourth published book, In the Blink of an Eye: A Tribute to the Memory of My Wife Diane, Our Marriage, and My Journey Through Love, to Loss, to Peace.
The deeply personal, 133-page book chronicles their marriage, the overwhelming grief that followed Diane’s death and Darter’s journey toward finding peace while learning to navigate life without his wife.
For Darter, the loss was particularly difficult because nearly every memory from his adult life included Diane.
The couple met when they were 23 and married relatively quickly, before Darter left for graduate school. Although their personalities were vastly different, their differences became one of the strengths of their relationship.
Darter described himself as restless, anxious and someone who frequently pushed boundaries, while Diane was more structured, grounded and analytical.
“Something about her calmed me down and relaxed me,” he recalled.
Their marriage became a partnership built on shared experiences, mutual understanding and a willingness to grow together.
“We had to learn to live with each other,” Darter said. “We learned to live with each other and to accept each other.”
They played tennis, hiked, rode bicycles and attended basketball games together. After spending nearly 40 years in Connecticut, where they were devoted University of Connecticut basketball fans, the couple moved to Medford in 2014 to be closer to their daughter and grandchildren.
Their shared experiences made Diane’s sudden death even more devastating.
Just five days before she died, the couple celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary on Jan. 6. That same day, they met with Diane’s vascular surgeon to discuss a severe blockage in her carotid artery.
She subsequently underwent surgery and initially appeared to be recovering. Darter recalled watching a UConn basketball game with her that weekend before her condition suddenly deteriorated.
In the weeks that followed, Darter struggled to process the reality of losing his wife.
As a longtime writer, he found himself reaching for words during some of his most difficult moments.
“I get up in the middle of the night and write a word, you know, or a sentence,” he said. “Sometimes a paragraph, then I try to go back to sleep.”
He collected those thoughts in a folder, initially with no plans to turn them into anything more than a personal outlet for his grief.
But on Diane’s birthday, he spread those notes across a table and began organizing them.
“I had no idea what I was going to do,” Darter recalled. “I just wanted to just sort of write initially just to kind of get it out.”
As he continued writing, the structure of a book began to emerge. He found himself reflecting not only on the painful months following Diane’s death, but on the life they had built together and the countless ways she had shaped the person he became.
Unlike his previous books, which focused on professional development, life’s purpose and poetry, this project was deeply personal.
His first book, Managing and Self-Managing Others, drew upon his decades of work in career counseling, executive coaching and organizational development. His second, Lessons from Life, published in 2018, explored the lessons he had learned through personal experiences and his search for meaning and purpose.
His third book, Inside My Mind, published in 2024, was a collection of poetry, much of it inspired by Diane.
But his latest book carries a different significance.
“This one is probably the most meaningful for me,” Darter said, explaining that the project also gives him an opportunity to preserve Diane’s memory.
People who knew his wife have told him the book captures her personality and the impact she had on those around her.
Still, Darter wanted to know whether his deeply personal reflections could have meaning for others.
Before publishing, he shared the manuscript with people who had lost spouses and individuals who facilitated bereavement groups. Their responses encouraged him to make the book available to a wider audience.
He decided to publish it independently through Amazon, pricing the paperback at the lowest amount the platform would allow with expanded distribution. Darter receives no money from paperback sales.
For him, the mission is not about profit, but purpose.
He has begun contacting bereavement counselors, grief support organizations and book reviewers, offering complimentary copies in hopes that the book can reach people who need it.
His outreach has already opened doors, including an invitation to speak at a grief-related event after he shared a copy with the funeral home that handled Diane’s arrangements.
Darter said the responses he has received from readers have reinforced his belief that sharing personal experiences can help others feel less alone.
One woman, whose husband died years earlier, told him she regularly returns to the book because it expresses feelings she had never been able to discuss with anyone.
Others have described the book as an extraordinary love story, something Darter hadn’t initially considered when he began writing.
Some readers have even told him that his reflections encouraged them to look more closely at their own relationships and appreciate the people in their lives.
That realization has become another important part of the book’s message: Love should never be taken for granted.
Darter’s professional career was largely dedicated to helping individuals recognize their natural talents, develop their strengths and find fulfillment through meaningful work. His writing has continued to explore those same ideas, particularly the belief that life’s purpose is rooted in personal growth and making a positive difference in the lives of others.
Now, he finds himself applying those lessons to his own grief.
He believes that discovering purpose, even in the aftermath of tragedy, can help people move toward healing.
For Darter, that purpose is sharing Diane’s story, preserving the love they shared and helping others navigate a journey he knows all too well.
Although the pain of losing his wife remains, he has begun finding moments when gratitude for their years together can exist alongside the sadness of her absence.
As he reflects in the closing pages of his book, he has learned that he can cry and smile at the same time, much like a sun shower.
And through his words, Darter hopes others experiencing loss can discover that even after unimaginable heartbreak, moments of peace are still possible.
In the Blink of an Eye: A Tribute to the Memory of My Wife Diane, Our Marriage, and My Journey Through Love, to Loss, to Peace is available through Amazon. Darter is also offering complimentary copies to individuals who facilitate spouse bereavement groups or provide bereavement counseling.
